Tag Archives: Revision


of  writing that is. This is beyond the revising that goes into a piece, especially for class. There’s a first draft, changes are made and then there’s the second draft. Usually the changes end there. And the drafts are usually pretty similar. If there was any major revising, the essence of the first draft can still be seen/felt in the second draft.

No, this goes beyond that kind of revising. These “drafts” of the same project are so different from one another that they are more like phases. They all have the common theme and subject but that is it.

It all started just over 4 years ago when Continue reading


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I had a conversation with one of my friends last night. We were talking about writing (I’m a writing major, she does it for fun). I revealed that I haven’t touched my attempt of a novel that I wrote during November. I haven’t even finished it.

I almost never revise my stuff I write outside of class. I’m not saying they’re perfect – far from it, but I don’t really have a carrot to entice me to go through all that effort. When I’m in class, I do revise, sometimes going through a second draft in between the first draft for workshop and the final draft for the grade. I’ve been in 3 Creative Writing Classes and have gotten the sense that the professor grades me as much for the effort I put into revising as the quality of the work. (My professors factor workshopping into their grades)

That being said, I will make an effort to finally revise what I wrote here in November. First thing first, is I am slimming the story down. Andrew Entscheid version 2.0 is older. He lives with his girlfriend and works for the Government, much in the same role as his dad (who won’t be a fixture in the story anymore). So by making Andrew older, I’m getting rid of ALL of the uncomfortable, clunky high school segments. Now the problem is I have to convey the information through a different means. I liked the idea of the philosophy class, but I realized I can’t write a classroom scene to save my life.

Stay tuned, because if I like what I write, then it’s going here again! I told my friend that I like this idea a lot. When I think of the future books, they might have an idea based off what I’m working on now!

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Life Philosophy

I found some interesting mini essays I wrote for my Humanities class in senior year. They were several questions and answers, mostly regarding philosophy.  I have taken a look at what I wrote at the end of my senior year, and have revised my answers, for the most part.

Who Am I?

Where am I going?

Where do I come from?

What is Power?

What is Knowledge?

What is Time?

And I found an Emerson Quote with my assignment that I had forgotten. I think it’s a great quote, even better than his ‘To be great is to be misunderstood’ quote that I have under my email signature.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”


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01.11.00 Crohn’s Essay

I have had Crohn’s Disease for 10 years.

I wrote about it for a college essay. It wasn’t a pity me essay, but rather a look at all I have done essay. I revised it for this occaison:

I’ve always been a happy, go-lucky and energetic kid. For the first ten years of my life, I didn’t see this as anything special. I just was really into living life to the fullest. However, when I was eleven, I got the news that would affect the rest of my life.

Soon after I turned eleven strange things started to happen. I ended up at the doctors in December, and since she knew that Mom’s family had a history of Inflammatory Bowel Disease, she referred me to a Gastroenterologist. Dr. Israel knew something was going on so she ordered two tests and I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, the second IBD, with in a month of first going to the doctors. I was lucky.

One of my most vivid memories of the first few days was sitting at the kitchen table absolutely sobbing because I had to swallow pills for the first time. I wasn’t very good at it. Now, ten years later, I’m an old pro and can even take those horsepill vitamins no problem.

Ten years is almost half my life. It’s scary knowing that it has shaped who I am now. I like to think that I am a better person because of Crohn’s though, because having a chronic illness at such a formative age really put things in perspective for me. I became more self-aware at age eleven. I had a new purpose in life. I strived everyday to live my life as if I didn’t have Crohn’s. I became even more energetic and enthusiastic and I threw myself behind my schoolwork even more. I did not look or act like a “sick person” would.

But not looking sick did have it’s drawbacks. No one knew about my Crohn’s unless I told them. In the beginning, it would be extremely awkward for me to explain my disease, so I avoided doing so at all costs. When I first started at Boston Latin School, my seventh grade English teacher, who wasn’t fully informed of my condition, hassled me for going to the bathroom every day. But once she learned more about Crohn’s she realized that she couldn’t control when or how many times a day I went to the bathroom. I’ve come a long way from that awkward and secretive thirteen year old. Now my Crohn’s is nearly in remission, and I’m perfectly fine with telling people about it. In fact I told a whole class that I had Inflammatory Bowel Disease during a presentation where we were supossed to share about ourselves. The class was surprised to see how much I had overcome in my nearly six years at Boston Latin School.

I have even surprised myself at times. But for now I’m just dreaming of the day where I can list my accomplishments, like “I’m a New York Times best-selling author and I have been elected the governor of Massachusetts” and then casually say that I’ve done all this and more with a chronic illness.

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The Power of the Exiled – Revisions

Just some minor edits on my Novel, but it affects the plot going forward.

In the beginning of Chapter 4, Andrew went to the library to read the column from Miles and his gang, and they called themselves the “Freedom Fighters”… well how cliche can I get! I couldn’t think of a better name for them when I wrote it, but then two nights ago I thought it would be better to name them the Voices of the Right… I had a writer friend come over and I read her parts of the novel. She recommended revising their column because it was too mixed formal/informal… I kept most of it but added to it. Tell me what you think.

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